Tricking Children

Got his ass. Kids want to be older so bad. The only good thing about getting older is that you get smarter. And even that isn’t really a good thing. Ignorance is usually bliss. But until you get older, adults are going to trick you on a regular basis. Tricking children into doing what you want is a tradition as old as time. They are very dumb. You can lie to them about anything and they’ll just believe you.

Some famous tricksters of our time include:

  • Willy Wonka tricked children into a weird tour/competition inside of his slave labor candy factory where the winner had to become plant manager
  • Joseph Kony has been tricking children into becoming violent killing machines since 2012
  • The snake from the bible tricked the first children Adam & Eve into eating fruit after sex
  • My dentist used a fake magic trick to make me think my tooth magically fell out of my head on it’s own

Tricks I would like to play on children

  • Make them think they are invisible. I’ve seen it online and it looks really fun for everyone involved.

  • Invent a new type of mythical creature along the same lines as Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, or Easter Bunny. Maybe some type of Veteran’s Day holiday creature that tricks kids into respecting the troops
  • Telling my child that when I was a teen I had a friend accidently blow into a vape and it exploded and blew his face off and now he has no skin. I’ve been wanting to spread this rumor for a while now but I’m not sure the best way to do it. If I don’t think of a way to use it by the time I have a kid I’ll just make him/her believe it
  • Tricking kids into learning cursive. I don’t think people are doing this any more but my teacher got me good with that one.
  • Peekaboo
  • That I am going to gobble their toes up

Bad Tricks

  • Hiding subliminal messages in children’s YouTube videos to make them do terrible things like want to kill their parents

  • Turning Tricks (prostitution)
  • Any trick done by a professional magician
  • Fentanyl in drugs

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