Open Season: The Worst Kind of People

I don’t hate hunting. Deer hunting is cool. Rabbit hunting. Squirrel hunting. All fine. But there’s something about people hunting Safari-like animals that is incredibly sad and pathetic to me. Anyone who goes on a Safari Hunt (Safari Hunt? Is that the right term?) is a fucking prick, so I’m declaring Open Season on these assholes. If you think it’s ok to hunt a defenseless animal for sport on a Safari Hunt , then take a picture of yourself with the dead animal like you accomplished something, then it’s open season for me to type hateful things about you on the internet. Deal with it.


You skinny Rex Ryan looking piece of human trash. I bet you killed that warthog just so you could lube up a tusk to squat down on while you smoke your trucker meth. You piece of shit. That could have been fucking Pumbaa. I hope Timon tracks you down and rapes you. Hakuna Matata my ass. You best be worried.


Hey binoculars neck how’s your family doing? Well? Probably cause they have a father. Guess who’s kids don’t have a father anymore? This antelope’s. Only thing you’re doing correctly here is rocking the fuck out of that Safari outfit (which doubles as an Indiana Jones). I hope this antelope violently haunts you for the rest of your life. I hope his antelope widow turns your wife gay then steals her from you, and I hope his antelope children beat all your human children in sports.


Everything about you is gross. I hope this Lion’s son hate fucks you and gives you rabies and AIDS. It’s fitting that you’re wearing camouflage because I don’t see pieces of shit like you as people anyways. Go take a walk into a volcano.


Where to begin with this cunt.. So what were you jealous that you didn’t have the longest neck on Safari anymore? Too much long neck competition for you in Nambia? Go jump into traffic lady. I mean you shot a GIRAFFE in the FACE. OBVIOUSLY YOU’RE TROPHY HUNTING YOU WHORE. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO HANG ON THE WALL NOW?!?!?! WAS THAT NOT THE ENTIRE POINT?!?! AIM FOR THE BODY ITS HUNTING 101. Do you realize how huge giraffes are? THE HEAD OF A GIRAFFE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAR AWAY FROM ITS BODY. Like 3 full length people away probably.  You are a sick & twisted Sketchers wearing skank of a mom who loves shooting giraffes in the eye. That’s what you are. Nothing more.

This has been an installment of Open Season. Maybe I’ll do another. Stay tuned. 

 

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