Tiger King Characters Ranked by Hotness

Tiger King is sweeping the nation. If you haven’t seen it yet, you’re missing out. It’s on Netflix. You have nothing better to do. It’s worth a watch.

Here is a list of the main characters ranked by hotness on a scale of 1 to 5 peppers.

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WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD

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Joe ExoticOwner of G.W. Exotic Animal Park and Mayor of Boner City. Joe Exotic drips sex. Our main protagonist sure knows how to get the blood moving to the penis. Talk about a SNACK. Just ask his 2 straight husbands. This nimble little squirrel gets what he wants and doesn’t apologize for it.  5/5 Peppers

joe exotic sexy 25 peppers


 

Carole Baskin (Big Cat Rescue owner/husband murderer) – Picture this… you’re blindfolded, tied to a headboard. From across the room you hear a faint, “Hello all you little cats and kittens”. You know it’s Carole Baskin… she’s playing coy.. You let out a spine tingling, “RAWRRRRRRRRR”… but then it gets quiet… Carole removes the blindfold and looks at you with those fuck me eyes.. this is going to be a night you’ll never forget…. 5/5 Peppers

carole baskin5 peppers

 


 

Howard Baskin (Carole’s Husband) – BOOP! Is what I want to do to his cute little nose. Howard isn’t “hot” in the traditional sense, but he’s got that boy-next door vibe. Someone you can proudly take home to mother. 4/5 Peppers

howard baskin4 peppers


 

James Garretson (Businessman) – the voluptuous James Garretson burst onto scene like a sexy Kool-Aid man. His cheeks, they’re squeezable. His hair, it’s flowing. But does he own a Jet-ski? Please…. 5/5 Peppers

james garretson5 peppers


 

Joshua “The Orgasm” Dial (Campaign Manager & CEO of Fucking Your Bitch) – with his inviting eyes and a soft supple mouth, campaign manager Joshua Dial is undoubtedly a playboy. Did anybody else think he was fucking Joe? How could Joe have resisted? 5/5 Peppers

joshua dial5 peppers


 

Rick Kirkham (producer) Rick Kirkham, the slender, nubile film producer got more than he bargained for when he agreed to help Joe Exotic with his online reality show. With his button nose and a titillating bravado in his voice, Rick helped set a lustful tone for the documentary. 4/5 Peppers

rick kirkham4 peppers


 

John Finlay (Joe’s Husband #1) – such a playful character throughout the documentary. When John gives that come-hither look into the camera and flashes you a rye smile…. SHEESH… I thought my dick was going to need an N95 ventilator. 5/5 Peppers

john tiger king5 peppers


 

Travis Maldonado (Joe’s Husband #2) – Talk about a man rocket. If not for a crippling methamphetamine addiction, Travis might have been the hottest man in Oklahoma. His inviting eyes and baby soft skin were a treat for the viewers until he tragically blew his brains out all over the park. 5/5 Peppers

travis tiger king5 peppers


 

Doc Antle (Myrtle Beach Safari) – hold on to your teenage daughters when Doc Antle is in the room. Doc has never seen a 15 year old girl who he doesn’t want to make his wife 3 years later. From riding Elephants to riding chicks, Doc Antle knows his way around a trunk. 4/5 Peppers

doc antle4 peppers


 

Jeff Lowe (Business Man) – Jeff is a ladies man. No ifs-ands-or-buts about it. The man slays puss. The way he wears his bandana beneath his flat bill at age 58 is master class. Men want to be him, and women want him inside them. As he says in the documentary, “a little pussy gets you a lot of pussy”. He’s really really cool. 4/5 Peppers

Jeff lowe4 peppers


 

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