Staying Sharp During a Quarantine

There is a lot of down time during a quarantine. It’s easy to fall into lazy habits. But sitting in front of a TV binging Netflix, and playing video games can get depressing. It’s important to do things to keep your mind sharp. Here are some helpful tips and things you can do to keep busy while you’re stuck at home.

Do a Project

Have you been meaning to re-do your bathroom but haven’t found the time? There’s no excuse now! You have nothing but time on your hands. Here’s a list of additional projects that can keep you busy during the quarantine:

  • Build a Deck
  • Paint Your House
  • Hang a Chandelier
  • Install a Sex Mirror Above Your Bed
  • Build a Penny Hockey Board
  • Ship-in-a-Bottle

Shame Others for Not Social Distancing

It is extremely important that we all keep to ourselves, and stay 6 feet away from others as much as humanly possible. Are your friends breaking the rules and having small gatherings at their homes? Are strangers online not quarantining up to your standards? There are plenty of ways to keep busy shaming others. In turn, you will feel better about yourself and your own insecurities.

Scold Your Friends

Does your friend want to step outside for some fresh air? Nip that right in the bud and make her regret even thinking about it.

chloe text

Heckle Strangers

Grab a tall cool Budweiser and shout profanities at the neighbor girl from your bedroom window as she rollerblades down the sidewalk.

Park outside of a Starbucks and yell at old people. Remind them that they’re going to die if they don’t stay indoors.

Be Passive Aggressive Towards Your Roommates 

Make a big show out of de-sanitizing anything they touch. Say things like, “Went to see your girlfriend again tonight, huh?”, or “Did you wash your hands when you got home?”.

Make it clear that you’re unhappy with how seriously they are taking the quarantine, but don’t actually speak to them about it.

Lash Out at Social Media Influencers 

There are plenty of influencers online making questionable decisions who you can shame. If you hit a lull, check out Arielle Charnas Instagram. If you’re looking to let off some steam and say some hurtful things, Arielle is a great target.

ariellearielle comments

 

Foster a Dog

Now that you’re stuck in your home for the foreseeable future, it is the perfect time to have a dog! When you foster a dog, you agree to take a homeless dog into your home, and give him/her love, care, and attention. Follow this link to find an animal welfare group in your area, and bring home your new best friend today!

foster dog pic

 

Spend Your $1200 Stimulus Check on Long Outfits

Free money! It can be depressing moving from couch to couch in the same old ratty clothes your wife picked out for you. This is the perfect chance to buy that Raf Simons designer shirt you’ve had your eye on.

long outfits

Divorce Your Wife

With your new long clothing, what do you need a wife for? Pussy will be lining up at your door as soon as the pandemic is over. Get ahead of the situation and take social distancing to the next level by leaving your wife altogether. Dogs can’t carry the coronavirus, and children are mostly immune. Wives on the other hand are a ticking time bomb. They’re riddled with viruses. She has been nagging you about your new look anyways. Clearly she doesn’t understand how a quality shirt is supposed to fit. Kick your wife out of the house. It’s not like she helped you pay for it.   

 

Start an Instagram Account for Your Dog

While the whole world is buried in their phones, it’s the perfect time to start an Instagram account for your recently fostered dog. This is a great activity to include your children in as well. I’m sure they are sad that their mom is out of the picture, but there’s nothing that cheers up kids more than cutely staged dog pics.

foster dog insta

 

Better Yourself as a Woman

Better yourself as a woman by reading Steve Harvey’s New York Times Best Seller – Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man! Maybe if you would have listened to Steve Harvey before the quarantine, your husband would not have left you. But it’s not too late! Do some reading and finally learn what men really think about love, relationships, intimacy, and commitment. Straight from the mouth of Steve Harvey. 

steve harvey book

 

Zoom Meetings

Zoom meetings are a great way to stay in touch with those who you can no longer see in person.

zoom divorce

 

Go for a Walk in the Park

It is important to get as much fresh air as possible. City parks are still open in most states! At minimum you can take a walk around your neighborhood. Take a safe socially distant stroll with a friend or a recently fostered dog, just make sure to keep 6 feet of separation!

 

Give Up Hope and Become at Peace with Dying

I did that last week and it has been liberating. Once you come to terms with the fact that there most likely won’t be sports until next year, and make peace with the fact that your smoking habits likely will cost you your life when you get the Coronavirus, it’s incredibly freeing. That cure you heard about in France is not happening. We’re in this for the long haul. Might as well accept it now and enjoy what might be your final days in earth.

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