Colored Profiling: White

Whereas black is the absence of all colors, white is the opposite or something like that. White is every single color being reflected all at once I am pretty sure.

The Penn State Nittany Lion’s football helmets are white. You might remember Penn State as the University responsible for the second largest pedophile ring in the history of the world (behind the Catholic church). You also might know them as the team who lost their week 1 game vs. the Indiana Football Hoosiers. The game came down to a controversial final play in which Indiana Quarterback Michael Penix (funny name) reached the ball over goal line and passed the pylon before hitting the ground to convert the 2 point try. It was a very close play, but as evident by my diagram below, you can see that it was clearly a good touchdown

The Indiana Football Hoosiers are now the #9 team in the nation, whilst Penn State is an embarrassing 0-4 and are in danger of folding as a football program.

Cocaine, the illegal drug derived from the cocoa plant comes in a white powder. The price of cocaine varies depending on who you know, and how much the package has been stepped on.

Cobwebs are white. As a child I was led to believe that cleaning out the cobwebs would be a real thing that I would have to do when I was older and tall enough. So far that has not been the case.

Puka Shell Necklaces are white. They are very cool and very hip. In 7th grade when you returned from family vacation in Myrtle Beach with a puka shell necklace, all the cute girls would line up at your locker. If they were lucky, you might let them wear your puka shell necklace for a day A puka shell necklace instantly turns a soft 5 into a hard 8.

The Ku Klux Klan wear white robes with pointy hoods, but they are not ghosts. They love Caucasians. I am a Caucasian myself, however I do not personally do not care for them. Caucasians are more commonly referred to as white people. Aside from the Ku Klux Klan, wdhite people can be found on the Brigham Young University football team, and under the PAWGS category on porn websites.

The moving truck parked outside my apartment is white. The gentleman who work for the moving company do good work for a fair price. I paid them to move my belongings into my apartment. Since I paid for my own movers, that means when it comes time for you to move, you can’t ask me to help.

The moving truck gentleman were kind enough to let me borrow their truck a few weeks back. I was able to use their truck to transport thousands of uncounted republican ballots from the voting polls to the dumpster behind Buffalo Wild Wings. Those ballots were also white.

Last but not least, hall of fame quarterback Peyton Manning is a white man. Manning played his college football at the University of Tennessee. While at Tennessee, Manning once forcibly maneuvered his naked testicles and rectum directly onto the face of Dr. Jamie Naughright. He went on to finish 2nd place in the Heisman Trophy voting, narrowly losing to Michigan cornerback Charles Woodson. He was drafted 1st overall by the Indianapolis Colts where he played 14 seasons and won 1 Superbowl. He won an additional super bowl at the end of his career with the Denver Broncos as well.

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