Speed Rankings: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

I’ve always loved Power Ranking in things. Thing is, everybody does those nowadays, and I’m not sure I have as much power as they do, but I think you’ll be impressed with my speed. So I’m doing speed rankings. 1-whatever + an honorable mention. Speed and determination is key. Speed doesn’t have time for things to be put in any numerical order. So there is no order. That would take time.Time is the enemy of speed. Speed rankings don’t commit to a number either. So go with “10 best” or “top 5”. idk how much shit I want to list. I’ll decide in the moment like i do with the rest of my life. For the inaugural Speed Ranking, I’ll be ranking episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If there is one thing in this world I am an expert on, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is it.

The rankings are fast as fuck. Hopefully you can keep up.


It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia  – Charlie KellySongs

“You want to sing a song?!” Honorable mentions go to any song ever written by Charlie Kelly. They’re spread out among a few episodes, but I can’t write a Sunny hype blog without giving credit to some of the funniest/actually decent quality songs on the market today.

We start off with where the Dayman song.

Followed by Charlie Kelly’s vastly underrated marriage proposal song to the waitress. A song so good I might actually play it on the radio non-ironically.

Charlie’s spiders song takes the cake tho. The man the just gets pianos.

The Gang Misses the Boat


This episode makes the list for one reason and one reason only. Dennis Reynolds. With an assist from his amphibious motor vehicle The transition from Dennis trying to control his anger an be a “cool guy” is so good. Then it allll comes out at the end in this scene.


Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens

Are your cats making too much nOISE ALL THE time ??!??!?!! Then this is the episode for you.

Sweet Dee Has a Heart Attack

Really the only reason for this episode making the cut is because of the Pepe Silvia scene. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about Pepe Silvia. Enjoy.

The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention

INTERVENTION! INTERVENTION! This episode gives a whole new meaning to the word intervention. And it turned me on to can wine. Which is very conducive to my hand gestures.

Gail the Snail

The D.E.N.N.I.S. System

This episode is a PSA on how to get girls. I’ve been using the D.E.N.N.I.S. system for years. Sorry to any girls who caught caught up in my path. But you should know that 90% of men are using this strategy every day.


Sorry if you don’t get it girls. But this is just man stuff

The Gang Gets Trapped

This is a Reservoir Dogs style episode of Always Sunny. It’s starts with the gang mid-artifact heist, so you don’t really know what’s goin on, you just know they’re in the middle of some shit. The episode starts after they’ve broken into a house to steal an artifact so they can return it to the museum. Chaos ensues. Some of the best banter in all of the episodes.

Frank’s Back in Business

Dennis Reynolds getting off on stealing someones identity is quality programming. Dennis teaches us in this episode how to get off in a whole new in. In a way I didn’t know was possible. But thank god for Dennis Reynolds. He’s opening my eyes to so many new things. P.S. Sorry about this awfully edited video, just watch the episode, and you’ll get it.\

The Waitress is Getting Married

From Charlie Kelly poppin’ an H on the box of hornets, to Charlies Kelly’s dating profile, to Charlie Kelly ordering Milk Steak and Jelly Beans.

I didn’t proofread this so I hope the grammar is decent.


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