So I have to get at least one Harambe blog in right? Actually, I already did one. And to toot my own horn it was pretty fucking original. Seriously though, you have no idea how hard I’ve tried to not personally over do the Harambe thing. I mean I still probably did, but that’s the internets fault. You can’t beat the internet. I didn’t even want to blog about it again, but it just wont go away. I honestly think it would have gone away by now if people who oppose Harambe (i.e. Terrorists & Colin Kaepernick) would just ignore the whole thing. The internet is forever undefeated, and anyone who has ever tried to defeat the internet has lost in a blowout.
Harambe is the most popular meme on the internet at this time, and I don’t even know why I bother to explain that. That gorilla is fucking everywhere. But there are people in the world who have time to worry about the “negatives effects” of the meme, which is fine with me, because — THESIS STATEMENT: Everyone who makes an effort to put an end to Harambe just makes Harambe stronger.
The Cincinnati Zoo, the zoo that Harambe called home, had themselves a quaint little Twitter account. They liked to post nice humble pictures of all the cute little animals at their zoo. It was actually a pretty decent follow if you ask me. However, The Cincinnati Zoo no longer has a Twitter account. Ever since they killed Harambe, every post they made was immediately bombarded with Harambe memes. It got so out of control that they had to delete their account.
The Cincinnati Zoo probably thinks this is a win. They cut off Harambe jokes at the knees by deleting their Twitter — the platform on which this whole Harambe joke started. But they’re wrong. Because eventually, the Cincinnati Zoo will have to get a Twitter account again. All successful businesses have one. Whenever that time comes, even if it’s 20 years from now, @CincinnatiZoo will be DESTROYED with more Harambe tweets than they even thought possible. Guarantee there are people saving tweets in their drafts right now, just building up a portfolio until eventually that account gets reactivated. I respect the effort, but I’m sorry @CincinnatiZoo… you have no control over when the Harambe meme dies. You did have control over when Harambe the gorilla died. But this is different.
The NFL/Roger Goodell tried to help put an end to Harambe as well. In an effort to do so, they decided it would be a good idea to make it impossible for fans to order custom NFL jerseys with Harambe name plates on the back.
Of course, as soon as people realized what was happening, everyone freaked out. Drawing more attention to Harambe. Smart move NFL. Then in an even dumber move, the NFL responded to the backlash, and decided to lift the Harambe jersey restriction. So now you CAN buy a custom Harambe jersey. Literally the only thing that the NFL managed to do with this move is remind people that, “Oh yeah, a Harambe #69 Cincinnati Bengals jersey would be fucking hilarious, better grab one now before they become illegal again.”. At least that’s what went through my head. I got a nice 6 team college football parlay that I’m pretty excited about this weekend, if that hits, I’m certainly buying a Harambe jersey. Until the NFL brought my attention to this, I just would have paid rent or something stupid like that.
Colleges in the state of Massachusetts decided that they needed to take anti-Harambe action as well. UMass-Amherst thought the meme was getting a bit out of control. Which isn’t wrong — I can only imagine what a Freshman dorm hall would look like right now. I bet Kreischer Ashley is wall to wall with gorilla pics. Regardless, UMass Amherst politely asked their students to refrain from making Harambe jokes. Of course… it backfired immediately. As soon as rival school UMass-Lowell finds out about this, they respond by hosting a Harambe Night at their next soccer game.
I just hope Lowell triples the amount of mini Harambe’s given out when they actually play Amherst. Or if the game is at Amherst, they better show up with dicks out, in a banana bus, wearing full gorilla gear. That’s just good gamesmanship right there.
A third university in Massachusetts — The University of Massachusetts itself, went as far as to ban Harambe jokes entirely. UMass claims that Harambe jokes were, “a direct attack to our campus’s African-American community”.
In UMass’ defense, having a floor in their library called the “Harambe Floor” is a ticking timebomb. But again, all they’re doing here is drawing more attention to it. No publicity is bad publicity. If left alone, all the UMass students would have eventually forgotten about Harambe. Now they never will. And make no mistake about it, UMass made this racist, not the Harambe people. I guarantee that at no point did anyone ever ‘RIP’ or ‘pull their dick out’ for that particular floor in the library. It was definitely for the gorilla. Don’t flatter yourself UMass. The jury is still out on how UMass students will respond to this, but I’ll bet my socks that the word “Harambe” shows up even more now than it already had been. If I go to UMass, it just became a badge of honor to get a quality RIP Harambe joke written up in the most public area possible.
What it comes down to is that no human can beat the internet. Nobody ever has and nobody ever will. But please keep on trying, because Harambe gets a laugh every damn time, and laughter is a good thing.
John Rich TV 