Violent Video Games are Ruining America

DISCLAIMER: I think Apes and Gorillas are the same thing. Not sure if that’s true. Didn’t bother to look it up. Not relevant to my point.

A now dead gorilla

Today you may have heard of this story where a small child climbed into a gorilla cage at the zoo in Cincinnati. The child got ‘too close’ to the gorilla and the powers at be decided to shoot the gorilla to death right then and there, in order to protect the child from potential danger.

I’m here to say how it is a tragedy that they put down this gorilla — It’s just not right. I will not stand for it, and I think we all know who/what is really to blame for this situation.

Violent video games like Donkey Kong have given kids unsafe expectations/attitudes toward ape like creatures, and should be banned from video game stores across America.

Because of irresponsible games like Donkey Kong, kids think that when it comes to gorillas, they can do whatever they want to them and they’ll come back to life with the help of a few bananas. That’s not actually the case. It takes well more than 100 bananas to revive an ape in real life. On earth, when a gorilla is murdered because he causes zoo problems — he doesn’t come back to life as a cuter smaller/quicker/more agile monkey with a curlier tail. That’s not how life goes. In real life, if a gorilla gets flattened by a barrel, he’s dead for good. So, of course, none of these kids entering gorilla the rings are really prepared for a gorilla fight, because they don’t realize that the gorilla only has one life to live too.

If a kid wants to fight a gorilla, that’s all well and good, but he/she (note my gender neutrality) should at least have a realistic expectation of what they’re getting into so they know how to properly fight the ape, and the zookeepers don’t have to put the gorilla down because the kid can’t hang. If a kid is gonna climb the fence, and start trouncing around on the gorillas turf, that’s downright disrespectful, and the gorilla should have the right to stand its ground. The problem is, until we get games like Donkey Kong and Donkey Kong Country and Donkey Kong Land and Mario vs. Donkey Kong, and Donkey Kong Returns off the shelves, the kids are never going to properly learn how to deal with lethal primates.

Forget video games with guns. There are safeties on guns, there are no safeties on gorillas. I’m worried there is going to come a day that we have so many of our loved ones killed by gorillas, that we’re all going to have to get our own personal gorillas for protection. I hope that never happens, but at this rate, if kids keep playing increasingly violent video games with more and more gorilla related violence, we’re gonna have no other option other than to get our own gorillas for protection. We can’t afford to trust anyone anymore. It’s just the way it’s gonna have to be.


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