Lochte’s Locks

First off, this is super late, I know. But I had to give Ryan Lochte himself plenty of time to come out with his own Lochte’s Locks and he never came through. Today’s college football games are about to start, so I had to fire off the first one myself.

Feel free to bet all your belongings on either of these 6 Lochte’s Locks. Do so in honor of Ryan Lochte. I’m confident this strategy will work, because from watching Sportscenter, I’ve learned that animals can be the best gamblers, and Lochte has the intelligence of a Pigeon… So this is a gonna go real well.

Lousiville +1 vs. Florida State (12pm ET)

Louisville is getting 1 point at home, and they have the best Quarterback in college football – Lamar Jackson. Watched them play last week against Syracuse and he looked like a #1 draft pick if he dropped out of college right now. Florida State meanwhile really struggled at home in the first half of their game vs. Ole Miss. If Florida State gets off to a slow start again, Jackson is gonna bury them early.


Miami (FL) -4 @ Appalachian St. (12pm ET)

I know Appalachian St. went to the mat with Tennessee a couple weeks ago. And they are at home here, but don’t overthink the room. The University of Miami (ranked 25th) only has to cover 4 points against a team that just recently became an FBS school. Miami handled their first 2 opponents with ease, and today’s game will be no different.


Michigan -19 vs. Colorado (3:30pm ET)

Michigan is an absolute powerhouse. Colorado has had a great start to their year as well, but they’re traveling 2 time zones east, they have to play in the Big House, and the Wolverines have been playing possessed football this year. Colorado will be their biggest test of the year so far, but I expect Michigan to make a statement today and cover 3 TD’s easily.



Eastern Michigan -2.5 @ Charlotte (6pm ET)

I don’t know much about either team. They’re both 1-1 vs similar level opponents. But I like Eastern Michigan here for a couple of reasons. Eastern Michigan is an FBS 1-A college football team, and like Appalachian St. , Charlotte just recently became one. Eastern Michigan typically bottom feeds in the MAC, but I’ll take the team with higher level recruits, who are used to playing against higher levels of competition. Make the MAC proud boys.




Mississippi St. +13.5 @ LSU (7pm ET)

LSU has been playing a pylon at Quarterback for as long as I can remember. LSU has already lost to Wisconsin, and they looked like garbage last week vs. Jacksonville St. Mississippi State had a shit opening week and lost to South Alabama, but they bounced back strong beating South Carolina 27-14 last week. I see no reason that this game won’t be a typical dog fight of an SEC game. Take the team who gets 13.5 points on their side for this one.



Texas -7.5 @ California (10:30pm ET)

I’m all aboard the Charlie Strong bandwagon this year. Huge week one win vs Notre Dame, and a blowout over UTEP last week. Cal is a fine team, but they’re not the team to stop this train. I expect another convincing blowout from Texas tonight, that will be extra special becuase we’ll already be 5-0 with Lochte’s Locks at that point.


6-0 Bleached Hair Theme Party tonight at my place.

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