JohnRichTV.com hasn’t seen a new blog post since Fall 2016 when I was living in a van on the side of the road in Los Angeles, CA.
However, now that I am stuck at home #RespectingTheVirus I have way too much fucking time on my hands. Working from home is awesome, but I need something else. The only logical thing to do is fire up the old blog.
Does anyone actually want to read this shit? I doubt it. But I’m never going to have a more captive audience than at this moment right now, so it’s time to dip the pen.
I am not confident that the JohnRichTV.com reboot will be better than the first time around. But here are some new things/features that TV Heads can look forward to:
- Mediocre Photoshop Skills
Email a photo of your pet to firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will photoshop his/her head onto a photo of your choosing.
Next step is learning how to put heads on GIFS
- Sobriety (kind of)
- All former blogs required two (2) Steel Reserves + one (1) Xanax (drugs) to complete. Jury is out on whether or not sober John will be good for bad for content. If sober John sucks then I will have no choice but to jump back off the wagon
- Disposable Income
- Well not quite “disposable” but I did buy photoshop software and paid $60 for the email address email@example.com. Also sometimes I shop at Lululemon.
- In-home WiFi
- No longer will your blogs be posted using WiFi from Soapy Clean Coin Laundry in Alhambra. I would like to take this time to formally thank the good people of Soapy Clean Coin Laundry for “allowing” me to get “shit-faced” in the back of your establishment writing blogs while pretending to do laundry.
- An Angsty Teenage Quote Tattoo
- Have to imagine that a Charles Bukowski (writer/alcoholic) quote tattooed on my right forearm bodes well for my writing. Do I regret this tattoo?? Only thing I regret is not getting a matching one on my left arm.
- Unfortunately I am a douche now, but I do look great in this picture
- A newfound respect for viruses
- I dare you to find someone respecting the virus (corona) more than me. Stay inside everybody, and stay tuned to JohnRichTV (swish)