JohnRichTV.com is BACK and probably not quite as good as ever but maybe I still got it we’ll see #RespectTheVirus

JohnRichTV.com hasn’t seen a new blog post since Fall 2016 when I was living in a van on the side of the road in Los Angeles, CA.

However, now that I am stuck at home #RespectingTheVirus I have way too much fucking time on my hands. Working from home is awesome, but I need something else. The only logical thing to do is fire up the old blog.

Does anyone actually want to read this shit? I doubt it. But I’m never going to have a more captive audience than at this moment right now, so it’s time to dip the pen.

I am not confident that the JohnRichTV.com reboot will be better than the first time around.  But here are some new things/features that TV Heads can look forward to:

• Mediocre Photoshop Skills

Email a photo of your pet to john.rich@johnrichtv.com, and I will photoshop his/her head onto a photo of your choosing.

Next step is learning how to put heads on GIFS

• Sobriety (kind of)
  • All former blogs required two (2) Steel Reserves + one (1) Xanax (drugs) to complete. Jury is out on whether or not sober John will be good for bad for content. If sober John sucks then I will have no choice but to jump back off the wagon

• Disposable Income
  • Well not quite “disposable” but I did buy photoshop software and paid $60 for the email address john.rich@johnrichtv.com. Also sometimes I shop at Lululemon.

• In-home WiFi
  • No longer will your blogs be posted using WiFi from Soapy Clean Coin Laundry in Alhambra. I would like to take this time to formally thank the good people of Soapy Clean Coin Laundry for “allowing” me to get “shit-faced” in the back of your establishment writing blogs while pretending to do laundry.

• An Angsty Teenage Quote Tattoo
  • Have to imagine that a Charles Bukowski (writer/alcoholic) quote tattooed on my right forearm bodes well for my writing. Do I regret this tattoo?? Only thing I regret is not getting a matching one on my left arm.

• Muscles
  • Unfortunately I am a douche now, but I do look great in this picture

• A newfound respect for viruses
  • I dare you to find someone respecting the virus (corona) more than me. Stay inside everybody, and stay tuned to JohnRichTV (swish)