Wearing Your Surgical Mask in Style

For as long as I can remember China has reigned supreme as the world leader in wearing surgical masks in public places. Even in the United States, it is common to see our brothers & sisters of the East wearing masks in the airport, on public transportation, at grocery stores, or while conducting surgery.

Ever since the Coronavirus hit the United States, people of all ethnicities have begun wearing masks. The biggest problem with this… they look preposterous. No matter how necessary they are, it is impossible to not look ridiculous wearing one.

“Who do you think you are Dr. Oz?

“Workin’ at the hospital or hardly workin’?”

“Hey mask face, suck my dick!”

These are just a few examples of things people might shout at you.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. When I see surgical masks, I see opportunity. An opportunity to make a statement. A statement of fashion.

I’ve come up with 10 options for things you can do to make your surgical mask turn heads in a good way.

Option 1: Fake Face

Skin colored masks with a mouth and nose for when you don’t want people to know that you’re wearing a mask. They could come in multiple different skin tones. They could have mustaches, scars, moles, etc. You could have one custom made to your exact facial features, or even one with big sexy DSL’s

Option 2: Vision Board

Vision boards are trendy this year (2020). They help keep you focused on your goals. It’s a great way to let strangers know personal things about yourself, even when they don’t ask. Share your dreams and desires with everyone you meet by making your mask double as a vision board!

Option 3: Bits

Are you a funny guy/gal? Think of your surgical mask as a blank canvas for your best bits. Treat every interaction like your own personal open mic night and let people know that you don’t take things too seriously.

Option 4: Advertisements

A mask on everyone’s face is a fantastic opportunity for people looking for creative ways to market their business. If each surgical mask has a surface area of ‘1/2 sq ft’, and every American wears a mask, that equates 165,244,412 square feet of ad space that we didn’t have prior to Coronavirus. Sell the real estate on your face to the highest bidder and make a pretty penny – thanks virus!

Option 5: Political/Gang Affiliation

You know when you meet a new person and they seem great on the surface, but in the back of your mind you’re wondering…. “What do they think about abortion?” Or…. “Is this guy a Latin King?” Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Wear your heart on your sleeve/mask in a fashionable manner.

Option 6: Tribute to Kobe Bryant

RIP to the Mamba

Option 7: Games

Long lines in the emergency rooms? No worries! Play games on each others faces to pass the time.

Option 8: Motivational Quotes

Have a favorite quote you’d like to share with the world but are too cowardly to tattoo it on your forearm? Put it on your mask!

Option 9: Venmo/Google Pay QR Code

Not only fashionable, but practical as well. What’s the worst part of going to the store now? – It’s exchanging your credit card with the cashier. You don’t know where their hands have been. Let them scan your face instead – no germs!