Colored Profiling: Red

This is the first installment of’s newest series – Colored Profiling

We’ll be taking a deep dive into the world of colors. Colors such as red, blue, green, and orange will be featured (among others). If you have a color you would like to learn more about, sound off in the comments section.

Today’s color is RED

According to , there are 445 shades of red, ranging from Red #1 & Red (Munsell), all the way to Raspberry Wine & Shiraz. 30 of the most popular reds are featured in the chart below.



Red is the prominent color featured in the national flags of China, Canada, and the Confederacy.

red flags
Nazi’s and Communists are historically red as well


Red is the color of blood. Blood is actually a blueish/purple when inside the body, only when exposed to oxygen (O on the periodic table) does is turn red.

NOT! – I fact checked this right before I published the blog, and it turns out that is only a myth. Blood is always red. Even in the body!

blood blue


Bulls historically hate the color red, and become enraged at the sight of a red bed sheet. It actually angers them so much that they will in fact charge the color red head first with a horn attack. Despite this, the popular NBA team “Chicago Bulls” dominant color is still red. In real life, bulls are mostly black and brown. If you look at the Chicago Bulls logo upside down, it looks like a robot having sex with a crab. Crabs are often red as well.

🎶🎧💙 RK 🎡♥️🇺🇸's tweet - "Anyone else see a alien sitting on ...


The Washington Redskins and the Cleveland Indians both use the color red to be racist. 

racist indians


Famous individuals such as Red Auerbach, Red Fox and Trippie Redd all have the color Red in their name. Trippie Redd is the only one of the three who incorporates the color into his life. This is ironic because his name is the only one not spelled the same as the color.



Carmen San Diego from “Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego?”, wears a red coat, red hat, and had red(ish) hair. Her gloves and belt on the other hand are black. Her scarf is yellow. Her looks are an 8.2 out of 10.

carmen san diego

Another cartoon character who wears red that people find sexually attractive is Jessica Rabbit. She is an even 9.0.


jessica rabbit.jpg


In 1976, M&M’s discontinued the Red M&M amid controversy surrounding the red dye used in the manufacturing process. 10 years later the Red M&M made it’s triumphant return. In the M&M community, the Red M&M is now considered to be the dominant M&M – aka “the top”, as opposed to his submissive counterpart, the Yellow M&M.

red yellow m&m


The Kool-Aid Man makes my list, but not without controversy. Some people say the Kool-Aid man is not red, but rather a clear pitcher full of red Kool-Aid. Calling the Kool-Aid Man red would in fact make the Kool-Aid Man the liquid itself who is simply taking the form of his container. Is the Kool-Aid Man red or clear? Is he the pitcher or is he the liquid? If he pours himself into your cup is that gross?

kool aid man


Arches National Park & Red Haired People have something in common (I will not use the G-word [ginger] out of respect for contributor Patrick Rothweiler). Everyone says they are red, but they are really more of an orange. Does this person REALLY have red hair? Is this famous “red rock” REALLY red? Not really if you ask me.

red hair and arches
More of an orange


Lobsters on the other hand are undoubtedly red. So much so, that there is an upscale restaurant named after the animal. I am talking about Red Lobster. If you have anything negative to say about Red Lobster, you can get the fuck out of my face unless you want to catch these hands. Red Lobster is phenomenal. Their Cheddar Bay Biscuits are to die for. Their seafood is directly from the sea. It is prepared expertly by chefs. Their prices are fair and their food is delicious.

red lobster


In billiards, the 3-Ball, as well as the 11-ball are red. 3 is solid, and 11 is stripes. If you’re playing 9-ball, then you will not need the 11-ball, and you can leave it in one of the pockets. You will always need the 3-ball though.

pool 9 ball


The Rolling Stones used a red tongue as the logo for their band. The tongue is comically oversized, but it is still one of the most recognizable logos in the history of Rock n’ Roll. Mick Jagger and Keith Richards both look terrible. It is incredible that they are still alive. They have aged like shit because of drugs and alcohol. Their logo however stands the test of time.

rolling stones


Lastly, I would like to open a dialogue about Clifford The Big Red Dog. What an incredibly large dog he is. But is Clifford a good dog? A dog that size is terribly inconvenient. He requires such a large dog house. I suppose he could sleep outside when the weather is nice, but he needs some sort of shelter to protect himself when it storms. It takes all day to bathe him. His poops wreak havoc on the community. Clifford is constantly getting into mischief. But on the other hand, he does a lot of good for the world. He has proven time and time again to be an effective fireman. I think the positives of Clifford The Big Red Dog outweigh the negatives , but there are issues that need to be addressed.

clifford fireman
Clifford keeps a calm, pleasant demeanor as he saves humans from certain death




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